decisions decisions...

The last few days have been VERY hard on me! Not because we had company or that we have been busy, but because I have been trying to make a decision about what to do about going back to work. I have the hardest time making such big, life changing decisions, but usually once they are made, I stick with them. As many of you know, my first job experience right out of PA school was not really a good one. I felt a little like I had been thrown to the wolves and left to sink or swim on my own. Then, after only having worked there for a short time, my boss became very ill. He had breast cancer and I watched him go from a vibrant and healthy man to a weak and frail 78 year old practically over night. He got worse ...and worse ...leaving more and more responsibility on my shoulders...and no plan in place for what to do if something happened to him. So, my stress over his condition was compounded with stress over seeing patients of complexities that I was not experienced enough to handle...it was a really hard time for me. When my Dr. passed away, Zack and I decided that it would be a good idea for me to take some time off...and I have to say, it has been SUCH a blessing. I have taken the last year to untie myself from all of the knots that I had been tied in over the last few years. It has been a really good time of rest, and I have REALLY enjoyed my time at home.

Then, about 6 months ago, I talked to a Dr. about coming to work with her, only to have that fall through at the last minute...it seemed as though God had shut those doors. I was ok with that...but was not really sure what the next step should be.

The Dr. I had been talking to about the job in October and I had stayed in contact and talked back and forth several times between then and now. Now, after becoming a shareholder, the Dr. has a lot more clout with the organization that she is working with then she did, and she still desires to hire a mid-level provider to help her out. She called me up this week to let me know that she is ready to hire someone and would like for me to start on September 1st.

So, since Tuesday, I have been wrestling with myself trying to decide what I should do. It has been a bit of a nightmare! I had no peace either direction and was really seesawing back and forth...and the worst part is that I never really got a chance to sit down and discuss things with Zack because we had company. ugh!

Finally, today, Zack and I sat and talked it through. We talked about my fears and his fears, and we talked about what we thought was the best thing for our family.

I ended up calling the Dr. back today and telling her that I am going to accept her offer...

I REALLY REALLY covet your prayers! While I think that this is an exciting opportunity, I have lots of fears and anxieties about starting this job that mostly stem from my past work experience...I really could use your prayers now as I try to prepare as much as I can for the whole new experience of treating children vs. adults, and especially in September when I start my new job.